I have a similar problem even in English. I put in various indirect words plus a lot of please and thank you’s if I’m speaking with an older woman, any superior, even a stranger if they’re Southern. The culture is older and I guess a lot of earlier American habits are still in there. My language use will indicate my background – even as my habit of rising when an older woman comes into the room (rising to offer her a chair) does. I’ve had to fight this a lot as I moved into the museum world. When I was a Curator at the Tenn. State Museum I was the only female not a secretary, maid, etc. so I had to make it a point to pick up the check before lunch or open the door for the guy to go first. These actions startled the men (mostly Southern) but we could talk about it, in fact I would eventually bring it up. I felt It was being helpful to them to have it in the open.
Maybe the same way would be useful with your friends, if they really know you. Try it first with close friends who trust you. In any case, I think making any issue like this part of the conversation is helpful. Maybe they haven’t thought about it before.
As the world is changing so much even tentative moves like this can matter. I sat at dinner tonight with three women about my age who had been at Atria over 8 years and were still outraged at how much things had changed! They were all minor changes, but they obviously didn’t want any changes – and I had trouble biting my tongue to keep from being offensive. 2/3 of the people here are women and they still are mad because there is no husband or child to help them out. They seem crippled to me by this lifetime of dependence.

I was given a copy of the original document “Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Ecclesia in Medio Oriente of His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI to the Pariarchs, Bishops, Clergy, Consecrated Persons and the Lay Faithful on the Church in the Middle East: Communion and Witness” but I found the talk of His Eminence Bishop Caccia more approachable and encouraging in its simplicity: we can only know God by offering our whole selves, our lives, and asking for God to rest in our open cupped hand of welcome.

It was such an honor and pleasure to travel with my daughter!